The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I have peed in a lot of sinks
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
