talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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