would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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