What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
