8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I had to cum in my sink.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
