Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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