lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
