I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
