you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
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Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
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Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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