He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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