I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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