It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
