it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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