He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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