Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
