Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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