And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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