Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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