Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Success! We fucked roommates!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
