You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
