How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
