I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize