weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
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