im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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