So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
