You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
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