I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Alive.
So much puke
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
