You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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