i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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