I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
