you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
