Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
two words: eviction party
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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