I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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