He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
