oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Randomize
