Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
