I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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