when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
