Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
