you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
