We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize