What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
