you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
