Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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