I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
