the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I understand Curling. That high.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
