why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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