i may or may not be watching the land before time
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We got so high we made milksteak
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
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I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
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