the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
