There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
