this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
