Pants 0. Shit 1.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize