those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
