It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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