I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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