i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
