just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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