Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
