Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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