11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
