I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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