I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
