after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
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I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
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I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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