No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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