shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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