Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
