dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
