I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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